This post is not about us, because thankfully we are blessed with good friends and family who really try to be part of our lives (see my other post People who belong in our lives). This request is about the many people who I chat with who are feeling isolated and lonely, especially around the holidays.

They are caregivers and partners with major health problems and cannot get out and celebrate the holidays and have very few people that visit them. Many cannot get out to do much shopping, have partners who cannot really share a holiday meal or festivities with them, and they can’t really go to other people’s homes because of wheelchair accessibility problems.

So you have an idea about some of their pain, here are a few slightly edited quotes. These are not complainers, they are tough people trying to make the best of a tough situation, with the added burden of loneliness:

I am NOT looking forward to celebrating another lonely holiday season. This will be our second Christmas alone. It has been nearly three years and aside from a cousin I have not been visited by one family member… The only social life we have are medical appointments, the hairdresser/barber & the lady who comes to trim his toe nails & finger nails. Oh I tried hard to celebrate last year but a ceramic tree & frozen turkey TV dinners just didn’t cut it! Trying to make believe everything is fine makes me feel like I am acting in a play going through the motions.

But, for me it is not just the holidays. Every day is so lonely. Every day is so hard. No one calls. No one comes over. No one cares about either of us. I swear I think we could both just disappear, and no one would notice. At first, people were kind of supportive, but it has gone on for so long that everyone has gone on with their lives and we are just here. It would be so easy for someone to just drop by for a few minutes. It would be so nice for any of my old girlfriends to grab a salad or a sandwich and just show up for lunch with me. But it does not happen—ever.

My husband can’t get out much after his accident 3 years ago. We got a lot of attention from our church and support from them, but now that we are settled in, we never see them anymore, no one ever stops by and we are left out of so many activities. It is like we fell off the planet! I know I should make a better effort of inviting people over, but it is so exhausting…

So what my request is, especially around the holidays, is to think of a family member, friend or neighbour that you know who might feel isolated and lonely, especially around the holidays. Try to take a few minutes and call or visit with them to let them know that you care — that would be one of the best gifts that you could give them.

Some other idea’s are to ask if you can bring over some holiday treats or a meal, offer to put up (and take down) some holiday decorations or a christmas tree, go to the grocery store for them, pick-up a gift they might want to buy someone, take them shopping, or just share a cup of coffee or glass of mulled wine with them.

Just use your imagination and ask beforehand if it is something that you think they might like. Maybe for a New Year’s resolution, you can continue on throughout the year!